beard controllable, if I am in the car before midday (but not in the hotel!) and life can be very exciting. I find that this allows me to judge objects in a more precise way and lets my rougher self enjoy the auction and the bidding at a later date. I suppose I am living in a quieter way and without the legal pressures the sort of existence the Chevalier d'Eon had many years ago. As I said earlier I have always been very careful from the first fate- ful trial of a "step in" girdle, later the nylons, while convales- cing from chicken pox, to the present happy state when I know I am better turned out than Cicelia (and I know everything she has on for the usual hetero- sexual explanation, the second half of the week usually involves her visiting fridays or earlier if I take her to catch the train in time for her to get to work.) She feels she knows about the early part of the week from the week end discussions, and the pieces I get through the week. This had been going on with her for a few months, and as it was getting near summer time she wanted to go on "a trip" as part of her holidays. As you can understand, this did not get much encourage- ment from me (or Winifred as I liked to be on Mondays.) This did not stop the plans and when I had described the disappearing objects, she seemed even more determined than ever to help, "as I might need the benefit of the feminine approach in future situations". I did not feel this was the opening I needed to ex- plain how unnecessary this would be, and merely counted the weeks still available before abstinence began, ever hopeful that it would be shorter than

Lent, though doubting from reading Transvestia that the Sec- ond Self would settle for less than full expression even with such a well endowed woman as Cicelia, who as well as being "perfectly formed was a lovely mover" in whatever surroundings though somewhat lacking in imagination in choice of clothes. I cannot see how some women starting with several advantages can take nearly as long to get ready as I would, and their un- derpinnings would be the simp- lest, no frills, frou-frou or even a suspender belt, while their make- up did little improve their worst features often concealing their best features. I feel to get the transparent effect of the red head really takes skill (especially as these individuals tend to be looked at no matter how muted the clothes, and they have to be pale while a blonde with a tan is expected.) The theory that red hair and green go together is enjoyable providing you can find the green outfit and match every- thing in the same shade, but gloves, bag, and these days, hat can be very different, while underthings!

I put Cicelia on the train on sunday night, her plans still in abeyance for a few days and re- turned to the old house, with its graveled drive and overgrown surround of grass and bushes, that I had tidy about twice a year after strenuous activity for about a month before each Equinox. The house is thatched and about three hundred years old, so it has quite good insula- tion and with the paved floor, small windows and heated by a coal fire if necessary, could hold antiques in a safer atmosphere than all but the most sophisti-

.35 -

cated air conditioning. It has sensible plumbing so on my return from the station I enjoyed a soak in a warm bath then suit- ably scented I dressed in a long nightdress with matching peig- noir, my feet in slip in mules. I prepared my nails for their lac- quer of pink (unlike the lacquer used on some brasses) and en- sured there were no unsightly hairs on my limbs or neck (the wig was dressed on its block and had a longer back so the males bigger head did not expose an area invisible to a careless check). Thus ready for an early start with clothes hanging in the secret area behind the ordinary built in cubboard, not yet found by any of my girl friends over the years.

The next morning I dressed in my preferred gender role (only for for the beginning of the week I enjoy the rest of the week too much to even consider the knife) dark green suit, with only slight- ly built up shoulders (fashion helping the outline but the out- line augmented in bust by jelly filled forms, and bottom by polystyrene pads the whole com- pleted by a frontal pad all well secured by the best in high waist panty girdle with matching bra

and french knickers) the skirt well fitting and the slit in the side lined up with slit in the slip so the stocking tops could be looked for but the long legged brand would ensure the look would rarely be successful. How- ever the clothes are only a small part of the role and I have found most satisfaction in the prepara- tion from the night before, so the shaving is a chore rapidly completed (the rest of the image in the mirror, frou-frou nightie, sleep bra improving the fit, and posture, nails gleaming red, the